Matthew 5:48 says “Be perfect as your Heavenly Father is perfect.” When you grow up in church, you learn very quickly that no one is perfect. Not because you meet imperfect people, but because you are constantly reminded that sin is terrible and evil and it keeps you away from God. When I was a kid, I would go down to the altar every week for salvation because I screwed up and sinned so God didn’t love me anymore because of my sin. One day someone explained to meet that if I have truly accepted Christ in my heart, then He has covered “all” my sins; past present and future. That was a huge weight off my shoulders. Lying to Mom about cleaning my room and fearing the fiery pits of Hell really weighs heavily on a 6 year old.
But as I got older, I began to dig deeper in my faith. I was reading my Bible daily, praying for my family and for God’s will on my life. I was always volunteering with my local children’s ministry team as a helper/teacher/guy in a dog costume. When they gave an altar call, I was usually the first one on my feet to stand up front and pray with others. I was still a kid but serving in kid’s ministry was what I knew God wanted me to do and I thought life was good.
I remember one day sitting at church in 5th grade listening to the teacher speak. He shared 2 Corinthians 5:17, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” Now I know everyone who has been a Christian for at least one Sunday has likely heard this verse like I had. But on this day, it hit me. Here I was, living proof, that even with all my reading and praying and volunteering, I still struggled with sin. I wasn’t a new creation. I was still messing up. And if I was a “New Creation” and called to be “Perfect”, why was I still inclined to sin? That day I sat in my chair and began to cry. I felt like a failure, that all my good deeds were nothing because I was still drawn to sin. I know that may seem a bit dramatic for an 11 year old boy. But I’m sure some of you still have days like that today.
I do.
There are moments when I look in the mirror and question decisions that I have made. I pray and ask God for help and there are days that feel silent. Am I not hearing God? Am I too focused on myself and not enough on Him? How can I live my life trying to be who God wants me to be if He won’t tell me? How do I attain this Godly Perfection that should be so prevalent if I’ve been saved and changed?
One of my favorite music artists of all time is Chris Rice. He wrote a song called “Smell the Color 9,” and one verse says,
“Now I’ve never felt the presence, But I know You’re always near
And I’ve never heard the calling, But somehow You’ve lead me right here
So I’m not looking for burning bushes, Or some divine graffiti to appear
I’m just begging You for Your wisdom, And believe You’re putting some here”
This song always spoke to my heart because it reminds me what I’m not. I am not God. I am not perfect. I am incapable of bringing true perfection into my life on my own. I’m not saying to stop trying. In fact Matthew 5:20 says our “righteousness should surpass the teachers of the law.” We are called to a higher standard as believers and should hold ourselves to that standard. But being perfect in God’s eyes is not about how hard you work to fix yourself. It’s about releasing more of yourself to let God fix you. It can be a struggle to let go of control of our lives, even in little things. But where I find true freedom is when I release my fears, my doubts, even my hopes and dreams to give to Him. Because in Christ alone, I am made perfect. To be perfect, you have to admit there are shortcomings you can’t overcome yourself. Allow the Holy Spirit to move upon your heart and let His grace bring Godly Perfection into your life.
